Thursday, July 30, 2009

If you seek Amy.

Dear Amy,

Hey, it's a huge fan here. I was with you long before your 5 Grammy's, before your fated peroxide 'do, before you & Blaaaaaake got married, before you got caught up in drugs & frankly became a hot mess. You ran away from the world and found solace in St. Lucia. While it was bliss for you, it was anything but for your neighbors there. You tried to find inspiration to write but failed in your search, possibly captivated more by the beauty and booze around you than the heartbreak and experiences before your eyes. Now that you're back in London getting legal stuff taken care of, it's time to get your ish straight. I will speak on behalf of your fans when I say we've been deprived for too long. We want classics like "Stronger Than Me", "Wake Up Alone", "Tears Dry On Their Own", & "What Is It About Men?". Use your recent divorce as inspiration! You make beautiful break-up music! Let Mark Ronson and that other musical mastermind whose name escapes me now (it reminds of the word "salami" though) guarantee you have soul-tinged, bass & trumpet-blasting magical music. In the meantime, I'll be doing what I have been doing since 2007--failing at finding random music by you that I maybe possibly did not have already, listening to "Frank", "Back to Black" & your B-sides, and filling that empty hole that belongs to you with other British songstresses (Adele, Duffy... both who come second, although I love Adele). So get in the studio, wash that beehive (or better yet, get rid of it... your short curly hair is cute) and pour your emotions out... because God knows you have emotion.

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