These are my favorite ones:
Stephenie Meyer- People who type like this: OMG. Mah fAvvv <3 <3.
J.K. Rowling- Smart geeks.
Jodi Picoult- Your mom when she’s at her time of the month.
Leo Tolstoy- Guys I want to date.
Jane Austen (or Bronte Sisters)- Girls who made out with other girls in college when they were going through a “phase”.
Edgar Allan Poe- Men who live in their mother’s basements. Or goth seventh graders.
Dan Brown- People who used to get lost in supermarkets when they were kids.
Nicholas Sparks- Women who are usually constipated.
George Orwell- Conspiracy theorists (too easy).
Harper Lee- People who have read only one book in their life and it was To Kill A Mockingbird (and it was their assigned reading in the ninth grade).
Lewis Carroll- People who move to Thailand after high school for the drug scene.
C.S. Lewis- Youth group leaders who picked their nose in the 4th grade.
Virginia Woolf- Female high-school French teachers who have their master’s degree.